


What I Deserve

by poisonkirby



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Nightmares, sad at first but then it gets cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 20:04:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9140191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poisonkirby/pseuds/poisonkirby
Summary: Hanzo has the same nightmare, and he begins to feel guilt for being happy. McCree isn't having that nonsense.





	

"Bro...Brother..." A weak voice breathed out, making Hanzo's stomach turn. He froze in place, not daring to turn around and look into those eyes again. Those big brown baby eyes, the eyes that looked up to him when they were younger. The eyes that he used to beg their father for extra money for the arcade, the eyes that were now quickly draining of life. God, he can't do this anymore. Shaking, Hanzo slowly began to turn, facing the familiar scene, careful to avoid his younger brother's eyes.

"I-I... Genji. Please... Forgive me." He managed to stutter out, eyes beginning to get hot.

The crumpled body on the other side of the room writhed, gasping for air. The moonlight reflected off the pools of fresh blood, still pouring out of Genji's abdomen. "Hanzo... Wh-Why?" He struggled.

Hanzo bit his lower lip, turning his head away. Tears rolled down his cheeks as his breathing quickened. He looked down at his hands, soaked in his brother's blood, trembling. How many more times must he relive this cursed moment over?! He heard movement, as if his brother were trying to get up. He couldn't stand this anymore, and began to ran. He ran harder than he thought he ever had in his entire life, when finally his knees buckled underneath him and he fell to the cold ground. He looked up, struggling to get back on balance and run again, when he saw a faint green glow in the distance. 

'It can't be...' He throught to himself, blinking hard and wiping the tears from his eyes.

"Hanzo," the figure stepped closer, "You did this to me."

"No-"

"I'm like this because of YOU."

He swallowed hard, breathing faster than ever, tears flowing from his eyes non-stop.

"I hope you're happy. I hope you're proud of yourself."

Hanzo opened his mouth, only for no sound to come out.

"Pathetic. You're pathetic. You think I wasn't worthy of the Shimada name?" Genji began to laugh. "I can't believe you. How dare you think you can be happy while I suffer."

"I'm-" Was the only thing he could say before Genji ran at him, sword in hand, and suddenly he was sitting up in his bed, sweating and panting. He looked around the small room, trying to grasp if this too, was another nightmare. He had awoken like this many times before, and god was it painful every time. He despised having to look down on his brother like that. 

He exhaled slowly, breath unsteady and still full of panic. He lay back down, placing his hands upon his face, when he heard a soft knock at the door. 

"Darlin'?" The voice came from the other side, confirming his suspicion of who it was. He wasn't sure if he wanted to see anyone at the moment- let alone let anyone see him, but he made himself answer anyways.

"Y-Yes?" He tried not to stutter too much. 

"Can I come in?" He responded, already opening the door. 

"Yes."

Jesse opened the door the rest of the way, stepped in, and quietly closed it behind him. "Darlin' are you alright?"

Hanzo breathed out as some sort of weak response, running his hands through his loose hair. 

"Another nightmare?" He asked, stepping closer and sitting himself on the side of the bed.

"Yes."

Jesse put his hands together and looked at the ground. This was the third time that month, he was begining to worry about Hanzo. He breathed out, looking over at the other. "You wanna talk about it?" Hanzo wasn't much for talk, especially about his nightmares. Jesse had a feeling about what the nightmare was about, as Hanzo had had the same one since he'd met the man.

"It was him. He... He was angry." Hanzo spoke softly, as if to not alert Jesse of the trembling in his breath. He sat up, brushing his hair back and tugging softly at it.

"Now honey, you know Genji ain't mad at you." McCree put his right hand on Hanzo's cheek, brushing away a tear the other failed to hold back. "Haven't y'all talked it out?"

Hanzo placed his hand gently over Jesse's, releasing a long breath. "Jesse. I don't deserve this." He whispered, thinking about what his brother had said to him in the dream countless times before. 

"Now Hanzo, what'd you mean by that?"

"I don't deserve you."

This had taken Jesse aback, as he pulled his hand back and stared at Hanzo. "Now why would ya think somethin' as crazy as that?" He said, realizing his voice might've been a bit too loud, as the archer's eyes went wide. 

He thought for a second, trying to string the proper words together. "I... I don't deserve to be happy. Not after all the terrible things I've done. All of the people I've made suffer."

"I've done terrible things too, ya know?" McCree stated with exaggerated hand gestures. "I ain't proud-a a lotta the things I've done; and they certainly wake me up at night, but I gotta move on." He moved closer, pulling Hanzo's face into his chest. "I gotta keep goin', hope that the things I do now can make up for the things I done back then in some way."

Hanzo moved in closer to Jesse's chest, putting his arms weakly around his waist. "I apologize."

Jesse chuckled softly. "Apologize for what, you ain't got nothin' to be sorry about. It's kinda my job to be there for ya where you're not feelin' the best, darlin'." He placed a soft kiss on the top of Hanzo's head, making him smile slightly. 

"I hope I did not wake you, though." He continued to apologize, feeling a tinge of guilt for possibly worrying the other so much it awoke him.

"Like I said, no problem. I was already awake anyways, there was a nasty tear in my serape I had to patch up. Now y'all don't worry about me, worry about gettin' back to sleep. What if somethin' comes up and here you are all tuckered out on a mission?"

"You are correct." Hanzo said, glancing at the clock on his nightstand to check how late it was. 

Jesse let go of Hanzo, and leaned back. "Now you want me to keep you company?"

"Get out." 

He laughed. The archer was always quick to get back in his stoic, no nonsense self- literally the polar opposite of McCree. "Alright, I see how it is. Dump me once ya feel better." He stood and gave Hanzo a quick kiss on the lips. "Good night, darlin'."

"Have a good night." 

Hanzo shifted down as the door closed until he lay on his back once more, staring at the ceiling. He wondered if he could even get back to sleep. Even if he wanted to he was afraid of the nightmare coming back to haunt him. He couldn't stay awake forever, he needed all the rest he could get. 

He sighed and shut his eyes, thinking about what Jesse had told him. He had to get past all the bad things he had done, and try to make up for them now. He did deserve to be happy. He was glad his brother was alive. He was here, now, with everyone at Overwatch. Maybe he could learn to be more like his boyfriend, a little more easy-going and appreciative of how well things were at the moment.

**Author's Note:**

> WOW ANOTHER SHORT STORY sorry yall i dont have the capacity to write multi chapter stuff and keep up with it consistently. i'll try maybe someday lmao. but anyways i had this idea a few days ago and thought it was good. i might revise this to be longer bc im not really happy with the current length??? but i feel like if i add anything else it'll get too cluttered idk. i like to keep my writing short and sweet and to the point. tell me whatcha think. <3<3<3


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